Luci, this moved me. Thank you for showing up in such an honest, complex, and raw way. I hear the ambivalence, the resistance, the care, and the power in what you shared. Especially this:
“I didn’t want to define myself for other people… so in the interest of solidarity, those are facts.”
That line alone could be its own praxis.
You’re right—the way others perceive us often holds more sway than the truth we carry in our bones. And that disconnect is a wound we carry and a mirror we’re constantly handed.
I deeply respect your refusal to collapse into a single neurotype or story. Your voice adds so much clarity to this space. Not because it’s aligned—but because it’s true. 💜
Thank you for trusting this container, even when it bristled. I see you, and I’m grateful for you.
This might be one of the most meaningful things anyone’s ever said to me in this kind of space. Truly.
“I’ll still be me at the end of the day” feels like both a boundary and a blessing—and I feel so much respect for that.
You didn’t have to meet this work with generosity, but you did. And your words remind me that real trust isn’t built through agreement—it’s built through being in the tension together without losing each other.
I believe in you too. And I’m deeply grateful you’re here. 🖤
I am loving reading through these sessions ! I have done the positionality exercise for myself, I find this way of being humble about how we think of ourselves so educating !
I have also had the privilege to graduate as Fellow from Yale in a medical program promoting lived experience leadership in community health and recovery. This is a lens that often draws me in, and frequently I engage this perspective, especially as I witness poverty worsening in my community and housing system failing us.
Hi Sher, Some really good stuff in this. I love the way you include yourself with "we". I'm 71 white male and what would be called privileged. I see much here that makes sense. I have been challenged and challenge myself on this perpetual necessity to be "right" and written about it in my essays. You have mentioned this eloquently a couple of times and confirmed it to me.
The irony of my faith is that we enter into it, not on the basis of being right but simply loved, then we use that to elevate ourselves over others as those that are right. The intoxication of religiously charged rightness is so great we feel we must be right and often unconsciously intimidates others.
I am learning to identify this intoxication and the egocentrism it engenders and take the lowest place, "emptying myself of all but love". As we enter into Easter and look participatingly at the cross of Christ I find it and excellent safe place to abandon egoic structures. Maybe, as you talk about place, it is the lack of that sense of safety where we find ourselves that we consequently put up our guard and abandon relational truth?
I think this is why I make sure my positionality is partially apparent in my handle, as anyone who understands the two groups I readily associate in my handle, realizes the amount of trauma and other secondary issues the intersectionality of the two often cause (or cause separately).
I also have it listed clearer on my own profile, as one would think that’s the first place someone would go when they see “oh this person has something twisted, let’s see if they have any authority” but it seems no one online bothers to check.
Like talking from my survivorships (SA and cancer) are ignored in spaces it shouldn’t be, but because no one checks I have to /explicitly/ say it every time, which is rude, ugly, and, sometimes, retraumatizing.
Thank you for sharing this—it really lands. I completely understand what you mean about having to constantly make your survivorship visible just to be understood. That pressure to disclose, just to be given space or credibility, can be exhausting and retraumatizing.
This is exactly why I hold space for positionality in my work—not to extract or perform identity, but to honor the impact our lived experience has on what we know and how we speak. I deeply respect the way you carry your intersections and how intentional you are in your self-representation.
I’m grateful you shared this here—it adds so much depth to the conversation.
"Give up defining yourself - to yourself or to others. You won't die. You will come to life. And don't be concerned with how others define you. When they define you, they are limiting themselves, so it's their problem."
I really appreciate you sharing this quote—it’s powerful. I’m curious how it lands for you specifically in the context of the workshop series, especially since a lot of what we’re doing is examining the layers that have defined us (sometimes without our consent).
For me, Tolle’s words feel like a kind of spiritual shedding—a reminder that once we’ve made the unconscious conscious, we don’t have to stay tethered to the definitions. But I also know that for many of us, naming those definitions is part of the healing.
I’d love to hear more about what this quote means to you and how you see it connecting with the work we’re doing.
I’m curious to know what you mean by “being right.” In what context? Factually? Ideologically?
And are you advising that we make space for those who are espousing repugnant beliefs and opinions or “facts” based on lies?
A few concrete examples of what you write about would be very helpful to me, please. One of the ways my ASD manifests is needing details and having almost a visceral reaction to jargon and cliches and anecdotes.
Thank you so much for this thoughtful feedback—it really matters to me. One of the core reasons this workshop is public is because I want us to co-create it together. Your questions help sharpen the clarity and accessibility of what I’m trying to build, and I’m deeply grateful for that.
When I mentioned “being right,” I was referring to how, in neurodivergent and disability spaces, articulate or privileged voices can sometimes be perceived as more correct—even when they’re just more socially palatable or more platformed. I wasn’t speaking about factual accuracy or moral relativism—I was critiquing how proximity to power can distort whose voices are trusted.
I absolutely don’t mean we should make space for harmful ideologies or false “facts.” What I do mean is that we should be aware of how easy it is to replicate the very systems of exclusion we’re trying to dismantle—especially when we’re not naming how our own positionality gives us a platform.
And thank you for letting me know about your access needs. That’s incredibly helpful. I’ll start including more concrete examples moving forward and being intentional about avoiding jargon or abstractions where possible.
Please keep reflecting back like this—it makes the work stronger.
Thanks for the nice, thorough reply. I appreciate you taking the time to read through all I said, and look at it dispassionately and critically, (but not as criticism or an attack).
I still don’t accept everything you say. But I don’t have to. I never agree with anybody entirely on anything. I read your stuff, I find something in there that resonates, it wasn’t a waste of my time and it didn’t irritate me too badly. So that’s a win for me.
I also appreciate your attention to grammar and typos. It’s almost impossible for me to read something that is riddled with grammatical and spelling mistakes.
Just for exercise purposes
– Race, class, and family history
White
Lower class (poverty tbh)
Polish and Dutch lineage
Northeastern US
– Gender, sexuality, and body
Female
Hetero
Cis
– Diagnosis (or lack thereof), trauma, and neurotype(s)
No autism
Lots of behavioral dx
Trauma excessive and no longer present
Neurotype is something I'm not willing to commit to
Id appreciate if nobody assigns one for me just in the current state of things
– Language use, communication style, and ability to navigate systems
You know me
Bridge af
Incredibly capable
Persistent
Clever
– Relationship to formal power (education, employment, healthcare, justice systems)
College educated in several majors
Certified
No paperwork
Self employed
Disabled legally and physically
No felonies but a lot of defiant conflicts with law
I have had my rights revoked and restored through the courts
And fought with hospital personnel/experts plenty
– Whether or not you’ve been believed
That's not really for me to say
People have said they believe me
They've watched these things happen
I have tangible
proof of all of it
Do they believe my perspective on the experience
That's very debatable
I'm doing this exercise because
Upon first reading I didn't enjoy this article
I didn't want to define myself for other people
So in the interest of solidarity
Those are facts
Not my opinions of myself
The way other people see my positionality affects how well they listen to me
Or consider me at all
So what I think of myself perhaps isn't as relevant
I disagree with a lot of what people consider factual about me
Because they see negative where I see positive
With that said
Lovely 🥰
And I completely see the positive side of being transparent about this
And I hope it helps
Luci, this moved me. Thank you for showing up in such an honest, complex, and raw way. I hear the ambivalence, the resistance, the care, and the power in what you shared. Especially this:
“I didn’t want to define myself for other people… so in the interest of solidarity, those are facts.”
That line alone could be its own praxis.
You’re right—the way others perceive us often holds more sway than the truth we carry in our bones. And that disconnect is a wound we carry and a mirror we’re constantly handed.
I deeply respect your refusal to collapse into a single neurotype or story. Your voice adds so much clarity to this space. Not because it’s aligned—but because it’s true. 💜
Thank you for trusting this container, even when it bristled. I see you, and I’m grateful for you.
Likewise sher
I see what you're trying to do and I believe in it
And none of us are perfect but
What you're asking for isn't insulting or unreasonable
And I see where you're going with it and it might do some great good that's unforseen
I know we disagree sometimes but I believe in this and I believe in you
So I'll get over myself a little
I'll still be me at the end of the day
This might be one of the most meaningful things anyone’s ever said to me in this kind of space. Truly.
“I’ll still be me at the end of the day” feels like both a boundary and a blessing—and I feel so much respect for that.
You didn’t have to meet this work with generosity, but you did. And your words remind me that real trust isn’t built through agreement—it’s built through being in the tension together without losing each other.
I believe in you too. And I’m deeply grateful you’re here. 🖤
“…we allow truth to become a network instead of a competition.”
One of those quotes that stops us in our tracks to ponder and reflect. 🙏🏼
That means so much—thank you. 🙏🏼
That line came from a place of longing… for spaces where truth doesn’t have to compete to be heard, but can coexist, resonate, and evolve together.
So grateful it landed with you.
I am loving reading through these sessions ! I have done the positionality exercise for myself, I find this way of being humble about how we think of ourselves so educating !
I have also had the privilege to graduate as Fellow from Yale in a medical program promoting lived experience leadership in community health and recovery. This is a lens that often draws me in, and frequently I engage this perspective, especially as I witness poverty worsening in my community and housing system failing us.
Thank you thank you. Yes create spaces and get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Love this series thank you.
Hi Sher, Some really good stuff in this. I love the way you include yourself with "we". I'm 71 white male and what would be called privileged. I see much here that makes sense. I have been challenged and challenge myself on this perpetual necessity to be "right" and written about it in my essays. You have mentioned this eloquently a couple of times and confirmed it to me.
The irony of my faith is that we enter into it, not on the basis of being right but simply loved, then we use that to elevate ourselves over others as those that are right. The intoxication of religiously charged rightness is so great we feel we must be right and often unconsciously intimidates others.
I am learning to identify this intoxication and the egocentrism it engenders and take the lowest place, "emptying myself of all but love". As we enter into Easter and look participatingly at the cross of Christ I find it and excellent safe place to abandon egoic structures. Maybe, as you talk about place, it is the lack of that sense of safety where we find ourselves that we consequently put up our guard and abandon relational truth?
Thanks again 🙂
I think this is why I make sure my positionality is partially apparent in my handle, as anyone who understands the two groups I readily associate in my handle, realizes the amount of trauma and other secondary issues the intersectionality of the two often cause (or cause separately).
I also have it listed clearer on my own profile, as one would think that’s the first place someone would go when they see “oh this person has something twisted, let’s see if they have any authority” but it seems no one online bothers to check.
Like talking from my survivorships (SA and cancer) are ignored in spaces it shouldn’t be, but because no one checks I have to /explicitly/ say it every time, which is rude, ugly, and, sometimes, retraumatizing.
Thank you for sharing this—it really lands. I completely understand what you mean about having to constantly make your survivorship visible just to be understood. That pressure to disclose, just to be given space or credibility, can be exhausting and retraumatizing.
This is exactly why I hold space for positionality in my work—not to extract or perform identity, but to honor the impact our lived experience has on what we know and how we speak. I deeply respect the way you carry your intersections and how intentional you are in your self-representation.
I’m grateful you shared this here—it adds so much depth to the conversation.
"Give up defining yourself - to yourself or to others. You won't die. You will come to life. And don't be concerned with how others define you. When they define you, they are limiting themselves, so it's their problem."
Eckhart Tolle
I really appreciate you sharing this quote—it’s powerful. I’m curious how it lands for you specifically in the context of the workshop series, especially since a lot of what we’re doing is examining the layers that have defined us (sometimes without our consent).
For me, Tolle’s words feel like a kind of spiritual shedding—a reminder that once we’ve made the unconscious conscious, we don’t have to stay tethered to the definitions. But I also know that for many of us, naming those definitions is part of the healing.
I’d love to hear more about what this quote means to you and how you see it connecting with the work we’re doing.
I’m curious to know what you mean by “being right.” In what context? Factually? Ideologically?
And are you advising that we make space for those who are espousing repugnant beliefs and opinions or “facts” based on lies?
A few concrete examples of what you write about would be very helpful to me, please. One of the ways my ASD manifests is needing details and having almost a visceral reaction to jargon and cliches and anecdotes.
🙏🏼
Thank you so much for this thoughtful feedback—it really matters to me. One of the core reasons this workshop is public is because I want us to co-create it together. Your questions help sharpen the clarity and accessibility of what I’m trying to build, and I’m deeply grateful for that.
When I mentioned “being right,” I was referring to how, in neurodivergent and disability spaces, articulate or privileged voices can sometimes be perceived as more correct—even when they’re just more socially palatable or more platformed. I wasn’t speaking about factual accuracy or moral relativism—I was critiquing how proximity to power can distort whose voices are trusted.
I absolutely don’t mean we should make space for harmful ideologies or false “facts.” What I do mean is that we should be aware of how easy it is to replicate the very systems of exclusion we’re trying to dismantle—especially when we’re not naming how our own positionality gives us a platform.
And thank you for letting me know about your access needs. That’s incredibly helpful. I’ll start including more concrete examples moving forward and being intentional about avoiding jargon or abstractions where possible.
Please keep reflecting back like this—it makes the work stronger.
Thanks for the nice, thorough reply. I appreciate you taking the time to read through all I said, and look at it dispassionately and critically, (but not as criticism or an attack).
I still don’t accept everything you say. But I don’t have to. I never agree with anybody entirely on anything. I read your stuff, I find something in there that resonates, it wasn’t a waste of my time and it didn’t irritate me too badly. So that’s a win for me.
I also appreciate your attention to grammar and typos. It’s almost impossible for me to read something that is riddled with grammatical and spelling mistakes.