Sober October: Embracing the Shadows and Loving the Dark

There’s something magical about October. The way the air crisps up, whispering of endings and new beginnings. The way the evenings stretch their shadows a little further, inviting us to slow down and just be with it all—the fading light, the creeping dark. I’ve always loved this month, with its promise of both letting go and stepping deeper. I find peace in the early sunsets and the embrace of the darkening skies.

I’m not afraid of the dark. Actually, I’ve come to love it. Shadow work taught me that. Addiction recovery taught me that. I used to fear what lurked in the dark corners of my mind, the hidden parts of myself that I was sure would only bring shame or pain. But once I dared to look, I realized the dark wasn’t some malevolent force—it was just me, waiting to be understood, waiting to be brought into the light.

So when October comes around, it feels like a welcome invitation to revel in all that darkness. To explore those shadowy spaces and maybe even make friends with them. The dark isn’t all that bad, you know. It’s where truth lives, where we strip away the facades and just let ourselves be real—messy, complicated, sometimes even a little twisted. It’s where I learned that being human doesn’t mean being “supreme” or “better” or “more” than anything else. It just means being human.

I think that’s why I love Halloween so much. It’s the one night where the world says, “Okay, let’s bring out all the weirdness.” Let’s embrace the monsters and the misfits. Let’s be the creatures we feel like inside. It’s not just about dressing up—it’s about expressing those parts of ourselves that don’t get to see the light of day.

I’ve been a witch more times than I can count—a nod to the magical, the misunderstood, the powerful yet persecuted. I’ve been Elvira, Madonna circa white lace era (oh yes, very that), even a shower once—don’t ask. I’ve been Lois Griffin (I guess there’s some stuff to unpack there), Jareth from Labyrinth (because who can resist that vibe?), and Wednesday Addams (channeling that dark, observant, don’t-mess-with-me energy).

If I look back, every costume matched something stirring inside me at the time. They were more than just outfits—they were expressions of my inner state, each one reflecting a different part of my psyche. A different piece of the shadow I was learning to love.

That’s why Sober October isn’t just about giving up alcohol or substances for me. It’s about leaning into the shadows that emerge when we take away those distractions. It’s about letting October do its thing—letting it pull us deeper into the darker parts of ourselves, so we can come out on the other side with a little more clarity, a little more acceptance.

Sobriety, in this month of shifting light, feels less like deprivation and more like an opening. It’s a time to experience everything just as it is—raw, unfiltered, true. Because that’s what the dark offers: truth.

So, here’s to October—the month where I slow down, where I sit with the dark and all it brings. It’s a time to honor the shadows, to welcome the monsters, and to remember that being in the dark is just another way of finding the light.

And when Halloween rolls around, I’ll probably be a witch again. Because, well… some parts of ourselves are always meant to shine best in the dark.