My First Language Was a Feeling

🌒 PART III —WE WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO EXIST

⭐ START HERE — If You’re New, Read the Introduction First

→ Read the Introduction to We Weren’t Supposed to Exist

→ Read the Author’s Note & Table of Contents

Just a note before we begin:
what follows comes from my body, my lineage, my survival.
If you’re here, read with reciprocity —
not as a consumer, but as a witness.

The Architecture Beneath Words

My first language didn’t have grammar or structure.
It didn’t come in sentences.
It didn’t even come in words.

My first language was a feeling.

Before I learned to speak, I knew how to read the tone of a room.
Before I understood plot, I understood atmosphere.
Before I had vocabulary, I had resonance — the emotional logic beneath everything people said or didn’t say.

Adults thought I was “too sensitive.”
But sensitivity was just fluency nobody recognized.

In I Speak in Spirals, I wrote:

“I didn’t think in words.
I thought in feelings that carried entire concepts inside them.”

As I later wrote in Justice Sensitivity Is Not Cognitive Rigidity, my first language wasn’t verbal at all — it was resonance. A felt sense of alignment or rupture that registered in my body long before I had the words. That sensitivity wasn’t fragility; it was signal. A way of knowing that made sense long before I understood I was GLP.

That was true long before I found the language to articulate it.

I spoke in emotional chords before I ever spoke in sentences.